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Struggling with the Difficulty of Seeking Assistance

Struggling for help is not easy. The fear of appearing weak or inadequate often deters us from acknowledging our need for assistance. This is particularly prevalent among individuals sensitive about their image or uncomfortable with trusting others. It can also originate from a need to assert...

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Struggling with the thought of seeking help is common. Fear of being perceived as weak or...
Struggling with the thought of seeking help is common. Fear of being perceived as weak or incompetent may prevent us from acknowledging our need for assistance. This holds true particularly for individuals who are sensitive about their image and find it discomforting to depend on others. It can also originate from a need for control, causing us to shy away from scenarios where someone else could be in charge.

Struggling with the Difficulty of Seeking Assistance

Struggling to Ask for Help at Work: Barriers and Solutions for Employees

Despite the importance of collaboration in the workplace, many individuals find it challenging to seek help from colleagues and supervisors. An article by Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries in the Harvard Business Review highlights several reasons why help-seeking can be difficult and offers suggestions for overcoming these obstacles.

One of the primary reasons people hesitate to ask for help is the fear of being perceived as weak or incapable. This apprehension is especially prevalent among insecure or preoccupied individuals, who worry that seeking assistance would reveal their limitations. Additionally, an emphasis on self-reliance and a sense of duty to manage everything independently can further slow down the process of reaching out for help.

Other factors contributing to the reluctance to ask for help are the fear of losing control and rejection. Employees may worry about being dependent on others, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of being under obligation or beholden to someone else. Conversely, the fear of rejection can stem from concerns about being refused, which can be personalized as criticism of one's self-worth. Some people may also refrain from asking for help due to overempathy or a sense of entitlement, while others may feel they do not deserve support or are unworthy of seeking help.

Addressing the Challenges

To help alleviate these issues, employees can seek counseling from a coach or therapist to build self-confidence, increase self-awareness, and learn the importance of teamwork and collaboration. Employees can also learn to reframe their approach by viewing seeking help as an opportunity for others to contribute to the success of the project and for them to develop their subordinates.

The SMART (Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant, Timely) approach can be implemented when asking someone for help. By providing clear, detailed information about what is needed, when it is required, and ensuring it falls within the helper's capabilities, employees can effectively communicate their needs. Timing the request is crucial, as asking a person when they are overloaded or pressured may not yield positive results. Effective and authentic communication is key to ensuring the helper understands the reason for seeking assistance and can provide the necessary help.

Ultimately, seeking help at work should not be viewed as a sign of weakness but rather as an opportunity to improve relationships, divide responsibilities, and make the most of time and resources. By addressing the underlying reasons preventing employees from asking for help and employing the SMART approach, organizations can foster a more collaborative and supportive work environment.

References:

[1] Kets de Vries, M. F. R. (2023, July-August). Why It's So Hard to Ask for Help. Harvard Business Review.[2] Alter, E. K., & Taylor, P. (2019). The Stigma of Mental Illness at Work. APA Monitor on Psychology.[3] Donovan, M. G., Fredrickson, B. L., & Smith, T. L. (2020). The Consequences of Staying Silent: Loneliness, Prosocial Behavior, and Well-being. American Psychologist, 75(1), 50.[4] Trawalter, S. A., Wolfe, M. L., Malle, B. F., Schimel, J., & Grajales, L. (2012). The Not-Yet-Invisible Man: The Interplay Between Stereotype Threat and Microaggressions. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(9), 1102-1115.[5] Pfeffer, J. (2022, February 21). The Second Shift of Care Work. Harvard Business Review.

  1. Employees may find solace in education and self-development resources to boost their mental health, which could help them overcome apprehensions about asking for help in the workplace.
  2. In an effort to create a healthier and wellness-focused environment, businesses can offer financial incentives for employees to prioritize personal growth, thus encouraging them to seek assistance when necessary.
  3. By collaborating with experts in the field of science and workplace-wellness, organizations can develop comprehensive career development programs that foster collaboration and teamwork, ultimately promoting a positive work culture.
  4. Through implementing holistic workplace-wellness programs that focus on the mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing of employees, businesses can not only improve employee satisfaction but also bolster their long-term success and financial stability.

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