Mourning a Dear Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Find Comfort
Losing a mother is an emotionally challenging experience that can have profound effects on one's life. A study has linked parental loss with increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure, among other health problems.
Women, in particular, may face unique challenges in the grieving process. They are more likely to experience binge drinking, a greater decline in self-esteem, and a lower level of personal mastery (personal growth) after the loss of a mother. The death of a mother can also mean losing an important part of one's support system, and relationships within the family may become strained.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) lists regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness as normal emotions in the year following parental loss. However, if grief impairs your daily functioning or persists for longer than a year, it may require the support of a mental health professional.
Fortunately, help is available. The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can help find a professional who specializes in grief recovery. Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can provide assistance during the grieving process. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988 or chat 988Lifeline.org), Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741), and Befrienders Worldwide (find a helpline in your country) are also resources for those experiencing overwhelming grief or considering self-harm or suicide.
During this difficult time, focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort. Honoring a mother's memory can take various forms, such as donating to her favourite charity or achieving a goal she always wanted. Offering maternal support to others who have experienced parental loss can become an important part of their grief journey.
Books like "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual" by Elaine Mallon, "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss" by Hope Edelman, and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" by Lois F. Akner with Catherine Whitney may also help during the grieving process.
Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment and not follow thoughts down an emotional path, can help when recalling painful memories related to the loss of a mother. It's important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and it's okay to take the time needed to heal.
In conclusion, losing a mother is a significant event that can have far-reaching effects. However, with the right support and resources, it's possible to navigate the grieving process and find a way to honour and remember one's mother in a meaningful way.
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