Indifferently Disregarding Others' Opinions: 15 Strategies to Overcome Concern about People's Perceptions
Let's face it, trying too hard to gain approval from strangers and acquaintances can be a real drag. Here's your guide on how to not give a rat's ass what others think about you, from the experts themselves.
Stop Caring What People Think: A Guru's Guide
We had a holy trinity of gurus – Amy Kaplan, a licensed therapist with PlushCare, Dr. Joanne Frederick, a licensed mental health counselor and author of Copeology, and Dr. Robyn Graham, author of You, Me, and Anxiety. Together they shared their sacred knowledge with us mortals to help us stop caring so damn much about what others think of us.
Breaking Free from the Grip of Other's Opinions
1. Discover Your Core Values
What's the deal with those guiding principles that motivate your every action? They're called values, and identifying yours is the key to living a fulfilling life. Focusing on living by your values rather than trying to please others will allow you to feel confident and secure.
2. Choose Your Tribe
We're surrounded by hundreds or even thousands of connection points, but not everyone deserves a place in your inner circle. Surround yourself with people who love, accept, and uplift you while keeping the toxic ones at bay.
3. Cut the Cords
Toxic people are like parasites that feed off your energy, so it's essential to distance yourself from them. Set boundaries, assert your needs, and incorporate them into your life only when necessary.
4. Detoxify Your Social Media
Take a good, hard look at your newsfeed. If it's filled with posts that negatively impact your mood, unfollow or mute those individuals. Cultivate a feed full of positivity and inspiration to help you focus on yourself and your journey.
5. Disconnect for a while
Take a social media break to give yourself some time to reflect and recharge. Try going digital-free for a day, a week, or even longer to help reset your mind and reduce your dependence on others' approval.
6. Have Fun!
Life is too short to spend it worrying about what others think. Instead, dedicate time to pursuing hobbies and activities that bring you joy and satisfy your soul.
7. Embrace Unapologetic Self-Acceptance
Be okay with not pleasing everyone, and remember that some people will never be happy with your success. Focus on your own growth and development, and don't let the opinions of others halt your progress.
8. Let It Go
Life's too short to worry about the opinions of others. Accept that there are some things beyond your control, and focus on the aspects of your life you can manage and improve.
9. Don't Compare and Despair
Comparing yourself to others trying to measure up to their standards is a no-win game. Instead, focus on your own journey and the unique path that you're on.
10. Learn to Self-Accept
Take a long, hard look in the mirror and recognize the worth and value that you bring to the world. Embrace all the versions of yourself, even the ones you may not like, as they are integral parts of who you are.
11. Cultivate Curiosity and Gratitude
Keep a journal of your questions and things you're grateful for to help keep a positive outlook on life.
12. Create Your Brag Book
Save compliments, kind words, and achievements to refer back to when you're struggling. A mental (or physical) scrapbook of positive reinforcement can serve as a powerful reminder of your worth.
13. Forgive Yourself
Mistakes are a natural part of life, so learn to forgive yourself and move on. Don't let regrets consume you.
14. Practice Affirmations
Remind yourself daily that you are worthy, loved, and capable. Use affirmations to boost your self-esteem, and don't shy away from using them to support others, too.
15. Give Yourself a Reality Check
Remember, people are generally self-absorbed and only focus on themselves. Shift the focus back to your thoughts with journaling or meditation.
Why Do We Care So Much?
Our obsession with others' opinions is rooted in the ancient human need for acceptance. This need has been exacerbated in modern times due to the prevalence of social media, which can create a false sense of comparison and a feeling of being defined by "likes" and follower counts.
Understanding the root cause of your desire for others' approval can help you break free from it and cultivate a more authentic and fulfilling life. Embrace the awesome, one-of-a-kind, you that you are. You've got this!
[1] [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-life-connection/201505/how-mindfulness-can-help-your-tolerance-discomfort][2] [https://www.sommind.com/smarts/self-analysis/31-self-care-strategies-to-help-you-through-difficult-times#:~:text=1%20Set%20aside%20time%20for,and%20self%20care%20again.)[3] [https://www.verywellmind.com/graduate-exposure-therapy-2794549][4] [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201201/healing-self-defeating-beliefs][5] [https://psychcentral.com/lib/putting-an-end-to-self-doubt-how-to-develop-self-confidence/]
- The ancient human need for acceptance has been amplified in modern times by the prevalence of social media, creating a false sense of comparison and a reliance on "likes" and follower counts.
- Understanding the root cause of our desire for others' approval can help us break free from it and lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.
- One key to living a fulfilling life is discovering and living by your core values, which will give you the confidence and security to not focus on pleasing others.
- Choose your tribe wisely, surrounding yourself with individuals who love, accept, and uplift you, while keeping toxic ones at bay.
- Detoxify your social media by unfollowing or muting negative influences, creating a feed that promotes positivity and inspiration, helping you focus on your journey.
- Take a break from social media to reflect, recharge, and reduce your dependence on others' approval.
- Embrace unapologetic self-acceptance, despite not pleasing everyone, and focus on your own growth and development.
- Accept that there are things beyond your control and focus on the aspects of your life you can manage and improve.
- Comparing yourself to others is a no-win game, focus on your unique journey and the path that you are on.
- Learn to self-accept, acknowledging the value and worth you bring to the world, and embracing all versions of yourself.
- Cultivate curiosity and gratitude by keeping a journal of your questions and things you're grateful for, maintaining a positive outlook on life.
- Create your brag book, saving compliments, kind words, and achievements as a reminder of your worth.
- Forgive yourself for making mistakes, learning not to let regrets consume you.
- Practice affirmations daily to remind yourself of your worth, love, and capability.
- Give yourself a reality check, shifting the focus back to your thoughts through journaling or meditation. Neglecting mental health can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, and even negative changes in brain receptors, negatively impacting your overall health outlook.
