Guidance for Aiding a Sibling Struggling with Executive Functions: 14 Useful Suggestions and Methods

In a relationship, executive function challenges can present unique hurdles. However, with the right strategies, these difficulties can be effectively addressed, leading to a stronger and more adaptive partnership.

Establishing Structured Systems and Routines

Implementing clear schedules and check-ins, such as weekly relationship meetings, can be beneficial. These sessions can serve as a platform to review plans, divide tasks, and adapt responsibilities as needed. By making these meetings pleasant and fostering teamwork, engagement and collaboration can be maintained [2].

ADHD-Friendly Communication

Communication is key, especially when executive functioning differences are present. Adopting direct and clear communication styles can help reduce misunderstandings and support emotional regulation [2][3].

Shared Closeness Planning

Partners can jointly identify what makes each feel connected and design weekly specific actions to nurture closeness. Regular check-ins to evaluate effectiveness are essential [4].

Balancing Emotional Support with Self-Care and Boundaries

The partner offering support should practice self-care, set healthy boundaries, seek external support when needed, and maintain empathy. It's important to remember that executive function challenges are medical in nature, not willful behaviors [5].

Problem-Solving and Flexibility

Helping the partner manage time, tasks, and emotional stress through coaching or therapy, and embracing flexibility to adapt to unpredictability, promotes stronger collaboration [1][3][5].

Working Together to Find Solutions

Addressing challenges and finding strategies that work for both partners is crucial. This collaborative approach fosters a healthy, adaptive relationship dynamic despite executive function challenges [1][2][4][5].

Patience, Listening, and Recognizing Progress

Being patient, listening to your partner's feelings and perspective, and recognizing and acknowledging progress, no matter how small, can have a significant impact on a partner's ability to stay motivated [10].

Task Management and Setting Boundaries

Collaborating on task management can help support a partner with EF challenges by setting realistic expectations, establishing achievable daily goals, and organizing tasks. Setting boundaries is necessary to prevent burnout and protect emotional well-being [11][16].

Seeking Outside Support

Recognizing when outside support, such as coaching, therapy, or counseling, is needed can be essential in helping a partner manage their symptoms and find solutions for EF issues that affect the relationship [12].

Understanding Executive Functioning

Executive functioning refers to a set of mental skills that help people plan, organize, pay attention, remember details, and manage time effectively. Executive functioning issues can be associated with several forms of neurodivergency, including ADHD, autism, traumatic brain injury, and mental health conditions like depression or anxiety [12].

Respect and Empathy

Respecting self-sufficiency, having empathy, and seeking to understand a partner's everyday challenges are fundamental aspects of supporting someone with executive function difficulties. Emphasizing their strengths and prioritizing communication are also key [9].

By following these strategies, partners can navigate executive function challenges together, fostering a healthy, adaptive, and supportive relationship.

Guidance for Aiding a Sibling Struggling with Executive Functions: 14 Useful Suggestions and Methods