Expressing Your Grief Is Acceptable
In the face of losing a child, parents are often left grappling with intense grief and trauma. To help them cope, organisations like ELISA offer professional grief accompaniment, providing emotional support, counseling, and practical help.
ELISA, an organisation based in Europe, focuses on providing professional and accessible accompaniment to families dealing with a child's long-term illness. Their approach is guided by the kaleidoscope model by Chris Paul, which compares grief to a collection of different facets.
The kaleidoscope model recognises several facets of grief, including survival, feelings, classification, connection, and reality. Survival is about simply surviving, meeting basic needs. Feelings are self-explanatory, encompassing the range of emotions that grief evokes. Classification deals with the lack of clear terms for certain types of loss, such as the death of a child. Connection emphasises integrating the deceased into one's life in a new way. Reality involves gradually understanding and accepting the loss.
ELISA's goal is to empathetically and expertly support families, providing space for discussions and addressing practical concerns such as social security issues and daily life aids. They offer support in becoming aware of one's own resources and provide space for exchange in grief groups.
Common methods used in this professional support include counseling and psychotherapy, support groups, practical assistance, referral to specialized services, spiritual and ritual support, and creating meaningful rituals. The accompaniment process emphasises that grief has no fixed timeline, that continuing bonds with the child are natural, and that it is acceptable to selectively accept support that feels helpful and reject what causes stress.
Upon the child's death, a large void is created for the family, not only due to the loss of a loved one, but also because the daily care and support suddenly cease. ELISA's accompaniment can help families cope with these questions and needs, including those of the siblings and individual family members.
It's important to remember that it's okay for parents to feel relief after the death of their child. Grief has many facets and evokes different feelings. The goal of dealing with these topics in the kaleidoscope model is to show people how much strength is in them.
For temporary relief, parents can turn to nursing services or outpatient children's and youth hospice services when they must leave their sick child alone. Families may also need a shared timeout to recharge and have experiences with the sick child, which can be facilitated by a respite stay at a children's hospice, offering one- or two-week stays with possible joint outings.
In conclusion, professional grief accompaniment plays a crucial role in helping parents navigate their grief journey. By offering emotional support, counseling, and practical help, organisations like ELISA aim to help families maintain emotional and physical health while finding a way to live with both their grief and love for their child over time.
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Science and mental health are crucial factors in the support provided by ELISA, an organisation that helps families cope with a child's long-term illness. They employ the kaleidoscope model, a scientific approach to understanding grief, which recognizes facets such as mental health aspects like connection and reality, guiding their professional grief accompaniment.
